There is an expectation by many who attempt to do anything that those who do things can just do them. And that expectation is held by the mediocre.
All clear? Great, my job is done here.
Ok, thank you bearing with me, now and always. I truly appreciate that you’re willing to explore the depths of mind-body performance with me, and that you continue to open and contemplate these letters.
So let me start again. There are two categories of learners (which may be too strong a word…):
- There are those who approach new tasks and challenges with an understanding and felt sense of process.
- And there are those who don’t.
And those who don’t have what might be called a fixed mindset (as opposed to a growth one), where they see themselves as a finished product and the world is largely a scary place out to get them. When things happen to them, they are fated, for surely they couldn’t have either A) made different choices or B) grown through the choices they did make.
These individuals very quickly conclude:
- I can’t do it.
- This works for others, just not for me.
- It’s harder for me than for others.
- It’s happening for… “reasons” and the universe will somehow rectify this imbalance.
Now, we all have some element of fixed mindset, for we all have an identify with firm values and beliefs, and these will, regardless of one’s level of development, shine through at times with unyielding conviction.
But I’m not speaking here about the manifestation of core beliefs, but the mistaken perception of challenges and tasks as indicative of the worth of a person.
“What if I can’t do it” = “What if I’m not worthy”
Viewing new and challenging things through a fixed lens is akin to living in movie, but rather than watching it in its entirety, extracting one frame and staring at it and only it.
Most films are shot in 24 frames per second. Now imagine watching a film, and in the first five minutes of that film selecting one frame at random, one frame that for you will represent that entire film. You’ll make all your assessments of the quality and pleasurability of that film based on that one frame alone. Maybe it shows the lead actor in conflict. And maybe it’s B-roll of a coffee cup or a pedestrian. Whichever, it’s 1/24 of one second, which is 1/1,440 of one minute, and there are however many minutes remaining for the film - minutes for the hero to take this plot in infinitely many directions.
YOU ARE NOT ONE FRAME IN A FILM!
You’re not a finished product. You are the hero of your own story, and you’re very much in process. Life will give you beauty, and it will give you pain, but you get to decide if you turn that pain into pain au chocolate, or whether you join the ranks of the mediocre who see pain and discomfort as permanent, rather than an opportunity to feel, to see, and to grow.
If I could reduce the myriad clients I’ve had over the years into just two meaningful categories, these would be those categories. And the incredible thing about these categories is that they aren’t binding, but one can give way to the other with a modicum of self awareness and a hunger for “more” or “different.”
Most quitting occurs because people fail to realize that while this thing I’m attempting today is hard, it won’t always be hard, and it isn’t a critique of who I am as a person.
Most quit because they fail to see continuity in plot, in the potential for growth if they continue to show up, and the relative ease with which they’ll face this same challenge in mere weeks to months.
Every fixed story of self that you repeat is a single frame from a story you haven’t finished yet. What if that frame is not the end, but the turning point - the point where you, the hero of your story, embraces that inadequacy or vice as the catalyst for forgiveness, acceptance, effort and openness to unlock the depths of potential within?
If you feel stuck on one frame - a narrative of self that seems limited, mediocre, or that resembles a fraction of the passion and potential burning within, The Weightlessness Process can help. The next tribe is just around the corner. It’s never too early to start that conversation.
Be Weightless!
Tom Fazio